ATDT 555-0142
CONNECT 14400/ARQ/V32/LAPM/V42BIS

BULLETINS

03-14-97
Second line installed. We are now a TWO NODE system. Please do not both call at once.
02-28-97
The cat sat on the modem again. If you were disconnected on Tuesday, that was why.
01-09-97
New file area: ANSI CAT ART. 340k of it. Download responsibly.

ONE-LINERS

  • I have knocked the glass off the table and I would do it again — MITTENS
  • The bed is warm because I am correct — LORD FLUFFINGTON III
  • ASK ME ABOUT MY BOX — TUNA_BANDIT
  • sysop please fix node 2 the dog keeps posting — SNOWBALL
  • 3am is a normal time to sing — WHISKERS.EXE
  • no thoughts. sunbeam. — ANONYMOUS TABBY

Choose an area above

MESSAGE BASE 1 — FELINE CHATTER

4,417 messages. Showing the last five. Reading is free; posting requires a validated account and a thumb.

Msg #4417

FromLORD FLUFFINGTON III

ToALL

DateFri Mar 14 1997 02:14

SubjRe: Re: Re: the red dot

It is not a bug in your carpet. I have investigated the matter thoroughly
for eleven months and I am prepared to state, on the record, that the dot
is UNCATCHABLE and that this is a COVER UP.

Someone in this house is holding the dot. I will find them.

Msg #4416

FromMITTENS

ToLORD FLUFFINGTON III

DateThu Mar 13 1997 23:51

SubjRe: the red dot

Respectfully, you chased a dot into a wall at speed. Twice. On Tuesday.
I was there. I have witnesses. I have a WITNESS, singular, and he is a
houseplant, but he saw everything.

Msg #4415

FromTUNA_BANDIT

ToALL

DateThu Mar 13 1997 19:08

SubjADVICE NEEDED — box situation

Box arrived. Box is 2 sizes too small. Box is, however, MY box.

I am sitting in approximately 40% of the box with the remaining 60% of
myself deployed externally. Is this still sitting in the box? Please
advise. Have been here 6 hours.

Msg #4414

FromSNOWBALL

ToTUNA_BANDIT

DateThu Mar 13 1997 19:44

SubjRe: ADVICE NEEDED — box situation

If any part of you is in the box, you are in the box. This has been settled
law since 1991. Do not let the dogs on node 2 tell you otherwise.

Msg #4413

FromWHISKERS.EXE

ToSYSOP

DateWed Mar 12 1997 04:02

Subjwhy is there a keyboard on my warm bed

Every night I settle on the warm flat bed and every night the big one moves
me off it and makes the clicking sounds again. Tonight I sat on the clicking
part and the screen filled with

ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

and he made a NOISE. Worth it.

End of messages

FILE AREA 3 — CATS (ALL)

Ratio 1:3. Protocol ZMODEM. At 14.4k the big ones take about four minutes, so start them and go and do something else.

Files available for download
Filename Size Date DLs Description
CATSCAN.ZIP 412k 03-01-97 1,841 Scanned photos of my cat. 14 images. 256 colours. Worth the call.
ANSICATS.ZIP 340k 01-09-97 2,203 ANSI cat art collection. 88 pieces. Best viewed at 80x25.
PURR16.WAV 88k 11-22-96 4,410 Genuine purring. 16-bit. Loops seamlessly if you are patient.
MEOWMIDI.ZIP 24k 10-04-96 672 Twelve MIDI files. All of them are cats. Do not ask how.
CATFACTS.TXT 9k 09-17-96 5,119 Facts about cats. Some verified. One of them is about the moon.
LITTER.EXE 156k 08-30-96 318 Litter tray scheduling utility. Requires 4MB RAM and commitment.
NAPMAP.GIF 211k 07-12-96 944 Floor plan of the house annotated with every sunbeam by hour.

Nothing here actually downloads. It is 1997 in here and 2026 out there

DOOR GAMES

Fifteen turns a day, reset at midnight. Inter-BBS scores are posted weekly when the sysop remembers.

  • [A] LEGEND OF THE RED CATNIP

    Fight, forage, and flirt your way through the garden. 15 turns a day.

    214 players

  • [B] TRADE PAWS 2002

    Interstellar tuna futures. Alliances collapse by Wednesday, always.

    88 players

  • [C] GLOBAL YARN

    Turn-based world domination. One ball of yarn. No survivors.

    41 players

  • [D] THE 4AM ZOOMIES

    Real-time racing simulator. Runs only between 03:50 and 04:10.

    337 players

All doors are closed. A cat is sitting in front of each one

SYSOP & SYSTEM

This board is a joke page on iainreid.dev, built by Iain Reid in the same stack as the rest of the site: PHP, HTML, CSS, and one small script. No build step, no dependencies, and no images — every piece of art on this page is text.

System statistics
System name MEOWNET BBS
Software CatMail Pro v2.11 /386
Nodes 2 (node 2 intermittent — see bulletin)
Connect 300 / 1200 / 2400 / 9600 / 14.4k
Callers 18,204 since 08-14-94
Message base 4,417 messages in 1 sub-board
File base 7 files, 1.2 megabytes
Best hour 04:00 — nobody knows why

LEAVE A MESSAGE FOR THE SYSOP

Chat request sent. The sysop is asleep